The press offers you every week a testimony which aims to illustrate what is really going on behind the bedroom door, in intimacy, far, far from statistics and standards.Today: Mathieu*, 26 years old.

He was preparing for the worst.But the worst did not happen.On the contrary.Story of a coming out anything but suffering.Downright happy.Because it can.

Mathieu, 26, wrote to us last December, following the publication of a "bitter" coming out, which, we remember, made more than one react.The man in question, a certain Mickaël, invited men like him to "stay in the closet", so much he regretted his exit.

"I just read this story and she grieves me deeply ...", spontaneously wrote Mathieu, the day after the publication.A long-meat message, a life story literally to the "antipodes" of that of Mickaël.So we obviously wanted to meet him, to hear him tell himself.

"I found it of infinite sadness," said from the outset, and at the camera, the young and sympathetic teacher, returned to live in his native region (with his lover, we will come there), very recently."I had the impression that he was out of step compared to others, including me ..."

Mathieu, meanwhile, came out at 12, in second secondary, precisely.In the region, therefore."It has always been in my head," he said.I knew it.I think that’s something we know.Except that in the primary, he refused it."I remember not having wanted to be cheerful, so as not to prove those who called me FIF ..." But beware, he quips, smiling kindly: "My life was not hell!I was not depressed either!»»

And then here in the second secondary, therefore, during French, he must read a series of novels on difference (anorexia, immigration, etc.), in particular a certain Philippe with a great H (of the author Guillaume Bourgault)."And I identified myself much with the main character," he recalls.He practiced the same sport as me.And either, he didn't want to be cheerful ... "

It was the click: "And I came out around me.First to a good friend (discomfort: she was also secretly in love with him).Reaction ?"She didn't say anything, then she left.It is certain that for a first announcement, it frightened me a little!He said, laughing heartily.But there stopped the misadventures, if of misadventures we can speak here."Then I talked about it to my circle of friends.And it was very well accepted by everyone.Very well accepted, he repeats.And I know that I am privileged in this sense.»»

Notice to interested parties:

To his parents ("dad, mom, I read a book, I'm cheerful"), coming out also passed as in butter, and especially in a good mood."But I know that I am privileged," insists Mathieu again.It doesn't happen like that for everyone ... "

And then ?Then nothing.Throughout her secondary school, in fact, it's flat calm.Quiet up to Cégep, where, at 19 (and still in the region), Mathieu meets his first boyfriend."And it went very well!We stayed together for a year.»»

In bed ?"I have long had a blockage with anal relations," said Mathieu transparently.How ?"I know it will be very woke," he replies, "but today, seven, eight years later, for me, it is a form of internalized homophobia.»»

In what ?How ?"It was dirty," he replied.This idea of the dirty homosexual relationship is a form of hatred towards oneself, "he believes, and he intellectualizes, age, retreat and experience helping, unlocking included."But why not live it positively?"It’s a stigma that doesn't have to be.»»

Parenthesis: in secondary, he remembers, Mathieu also carefully watched over never, never to the legs.Objective ?Do not "look" cheerful.It is also the greatest compliment that could be made at the time: "You're cheerful, but you don't seem."What a compliment!he quips again.It is part of this same path: this hatred towards oneself, which is partly instilled in us ... "End of the parenthesis.

Sometimes it's going well

The fact remains that after this first adventure, Mathieu went to study at university in Montreal."I had a few evening adventures, but never, never, I have never experienced Gay Life," he said.I lived my university life, in which there were several young gay men.He hardly goes out in the village either, but rather lives his life as a young student, registered in a course here, involved in an association there.“My social life was full.»»

All this to say that little by little, and without him really realizing it, most naturally in the world, Mathieu has overcome (transcended?) His famous "blockage", with a second lover this time."And it was natural that it happens," he said.It was really no longer a big issue.Their story also lasts a year.

Towards the end of his studies, there is a little over two years, he meets a third man.Its current partner.Her husband.The one with whom he left to relive at home.Here in the region.In bed ?"Very well," he smiles again.Very very good.We have common couple challenges.The weight of everyday life.Tiredness.Sometimes unequal libidos.I have the impression that I could call myself Thérèse, be 55 years old and have the same challenges!", He laughs.And yes, if you want to know everything, they are exclusive.

Moral ?"It was important for me to launch a message of hope," concludes Mathieu, alluded to Mickaël's so "negative" story."I recognize that previous generations have fought for our rights and social acceptability.I harvest this, the fruit of these battles.And I'm grateful.[…] And I would like that that young people aged 15 do not live in the anxiety of being rejected.Sometimes it may be fine!»»

* Fictive first name, to protect your anonymity